A very special day~~to-be-remarked

16 days since year 2015
One year older
yet zero achievement
Many people at my age already have their own careers
But me on the other hand, not only have zero achievement in career
but also uncertain about my aim
I do not know what am I really want

Having no goal in life,
KISS (keep it simple and stupid) get me out of the trouble
Because when i Keep It Simple and Stupid
I realise it's not that I do not know what is my goal
It's just that what I want isn't big enough to be a goal
or it's too childish to be a goal

bcz what i really want since small to now is to be happy and carefree
but I do not want to be useless
I can be happy
Everyone wants to be happy.. it is so general
But I do not wan myself to be drown in happiness while being a trash
I wan to be independent
Not only independent in life but also financially independent

In my whole life, I have too many ppls who love me, take care of me, and protect me
I took all these for granted till last few years.. I realised that I was so wrong
But smhow, I have already adapted to this kind of lifestyle whereby I have alot of helpers and backup whenever I need
To get rid of this bad habit or me isn't easy at all

Because I am not forced to be changed
Helpers and backups are still there for me..
But I know I shouldn't continue this..
I wish for a transformation

I know it will be a real tough task
So I am giving myself 2 years
I forced myself to walk out from the comfort zone
I enrol in Mba, because as an educator, degree level is not good enough
I force myself to do every thing on my own
despite of my busy schedule, i try to do part-time so that I can be financially independent

But expectation is still an expectation
Reality is cruel

Right after a week of my Mba.. i feel extremely stressful
MBA is totally a diff level compare to my degree
And I didn't expect there are so many assessments as the staff told me it is full coursework originally
Everyone is working, so making time for group assignment bcm harder compare to bachelor time
Time become so tight, schedule become so pack
every subject we gotta score above B or we are considered failed and retake is needed
tot to find myself a stable part-time job yet there are so many issues to be considered
still stuck as a freelancer which expenses>income

I know all these sound so routine and normal ..but..
To someone who has been staying in a comfort zone for whole life, this is killing
But.. this is my decision
what done is done
I am going to go through it

2years from now, I wanna check out this post to see
have I successfully graduated from Mba?
have I become independent? in life as well as in financial
Am I still maintain a good heart
Am I still enjoying my life and being a happy girl?

I hope I can make it
I will always remind myself

"planning is good
 but you will never know..
 because planning will not be able to catch up with the changes and uncertainties
 so whatever you do, make sure it makes u happy" (xiaobao,2015)

"Dare to dream, dare to act
you transform, you grow
but never lose your trueself in the process of climbing"(xiaobao,2015)

Goodnight
*(^(00)^)*

DreamChaser!!! GoGoGo~~~~

Every things you desire, you have to work for it
But it doesn’t mean one to one
Efforts does not necessarily paid
It does sometime, but when it doesn’t, you just gotta think positively it will do…

Smtm, you may feel especially despair and imbalance when your surroundings got things you want with zero efforts
What you can do is comforting yourself that they don't enjoy process as u do 

If you’re persistent and lucky enough, you may achieve what u want
YET!!!! Nothing lasts forever
you have to maintain the result
Perhaps, maintenance maybe the toughest
It requires continuous efforts

But this makes life full of challenges
Continue to chase after dreams make you alive day by day

 Being a DreamChaser~~~ Being yourself~~
I am going to be who I want to be~~
I am not trying to be a philosopher
I am only a motivator to myself

Goodnight
*(^(00)^)*

Midnight thought in New Year

Time flies~~~ without noticing, a year passed
I would not say I want a new leaf of life as 2014 was basically one of the best
Still I long for improvement, I guess "demand but not greed" is good. Isn't it?

I learned to be a happier person last year
learned to let go

learned to focus on good things

learned to overlook the bad ones

I did it quite well in this aspect
but to be honest, smtm u just have to wake up and realize you are living in a world that you gotta get your ass off the comfort zone.

Doing things you have to do instead of things you want to do
even for thing you wan to do, you gotta do it..

Ntg change until u make a move, Put you thought into action
probably the simplest theory and saying everyone knows but who of us are really practicing??
At least I am the first one who understand but not able to do it.., laziness wins all the time.. lol

So~~ stop procrastinate, and start doing will be my aim this year

However, I still focus on happiness because..
I wan to live a life, not a slave of life
I know ntg is perfect, give and take and shits in real-life make us helpless all the time..
but i still remind myself everyday that i wan a life.. perhaps not completely but at least close to the ones i want

So in this new year, I hope I can move on.
Not only focus on happiness but also improvement in life
I quit my comfy job as a tutor at Utar, moved to my most hated city, KL and registered a Master program, officially start on 12 January, and work as a part-timer currently
Keep on moving everyday~~~

N oh ya,
I bought myself a new laptop because d old one officially dies

I was very happy at the beginning because I bought it with my hard-earned money
Okay~~okay~~
I know it's nothing to be proud to buy thing on my own as an adult
But come on~~ back to 5 years ago I was still a kid, hahaha, a helpless student maybe, so lappie and hp were all sponsored by my parent.
This makes it my first time buying smtg pricey..
Tats y, I secretly felt a sense of satisfaction

BUT now, I am quite frustrated because it doesn't up to my standard... arrrrRRR...
Expectation vs Reality is pain in the ass!!!!!
blame myself for not doing enough of research..
keyboard is odd, so hard to type~~
Tetris lag like nobody business T.T
hopefully i will get use with it soon since lappie will be my all-time companion

This also explains why I never blog for so long, previous laptop is dead, and now new laptop is odd..
enough of nagging~~ hohoho

Goodnight
*(^(00)^)*